12.08.2008

Hipster Fail



I made a big decision today. I reject hipsters. My budding hatred for them seems to be fueled more and more every day and I feel like sooner or later I'm going to snap.

My new job is at a restaurant in NE Minneapolis. It is, unfortunately, very hipster to the core. Not so much the clientèle, although the neighborhood it's in makes an encounter with at least five hipsters a night inevitable, but the whole organization from the top down is devastatingly hipster. From the ownership to the management to the rank and file employee, I'm surrounded by hipsters. This has been what's pushed me over the edge in recent days.

Hipsters: I get it. You bike everywhere. Great job. I recognize both the wellness and environmental benefits to riding that bike of yours everywhere. One of my oldest friends uses a bike as his primary transportation. I don't mind sharing the road with bicycles. I even have ridden to work occasionally myself in the past. But seriously. It's fucking winter now. Even if it is worth it to you to put on seventeen layers of clothes, a ridiculous mask/helmet combo and bike in the middle of a blizzard, just shut the fuck up about it. I don't care that you just rode an hour in the snow, or how "fun" it was to do it; as soon as you started the story about how you have two layers of long underwear on I tuned you out and wrote you off as an idiot with no regard for personal comfort. I can't trust people like that. Plus, I don't prattle on about how I drove to work and how warm it was in my car and how I got a sweet parking spot and how great it was, do I? No. Because that would be a fucking lame conversation to have.

And maybe it is that lack of trust that is the core of my new hipster hatred. The missing ingredient in the humanity of a hipster, the complete conscious rejection of any sort of mainstream sensibility, alienates me no matter how much else we have in common. I can't accept a worldview that places the hipster at the center and camoflages that selfishness by hiding behind unselfish words like "organic" and "fair-trade."

Here is a story that I think perfectly illustrates that selfishness. A group of seven or eight dirty young people came in to my bar around midnight. Looking like they just rolled out of bed at Catholic Charities, they all proceeded to ask for the cheapest variety of whatever their favorite drinks were and complained even then. Don't come in to a fine dining restaurant if you're going to complain about price. Minutes later, two of the hipsters at the bar started yelling at each other and one grabbed her bottle of beer and smashed it on the bar (after three or four whacks). They all ran out laughing. At most, this was annoying and made a good story the next day. When I told the story the next day to the largely hipster staff I found out that these people did that at no less than three bars that night and that they are honest to God hobos. Not real homeless hobos, just kids who train-jump. One is even a grad student at the U, which is like the total king hipster - going to school and still being able to live a life on the fucking rails or whatever. And fuck me for thinking that's totally bizarre. I found this out from a girl who exclaimed "Oh, I know those people, they're my friends. That was kind of an art piece."

Fuck you hipster. Smashing a bottle at my bar, spraying people with glass and then calling it art is retarded and disfunctional and illustrates not only the self-centered view these people have about themselves and their scene but the superiority complex they hold about it. The fact that this whole episode was played off as totally acceptable blows my mind, but not as much as the ensuing comments and general attitude that I was the wierd one for being upset about the whole thing.

I've decided to live my relatively normal, non-train-jumping life equally as loud and unapologetic as these people. Anytime I'm around these people I'm going to talk about shit like playing video games and going to a sports bar and all the shit I bought at Cub Foods instead of the co-op. I'll talk about my life growing up in the suburbs like it's the only way to live and tell every fraternity story I can think of just to piss these people off. Fuck them all.

12.04.2008

Viva la Democracy!

I Voted in 89.3 The Current's Top 89 Albums of 2006

I voted in The Current's top 89 albums of 2008! The list was a little bit limited to "indie radio" releases but I'm too intellectually lazy right now to write anything else in. Here's my votes - disagree if you dare! Or just go log on and vote your own damn selves.


Michael Franti & Spearhead | All Rebel Rockers
British Sea Power | Do You Like Rock Music?
Doomtree | Doomtree
Blitzen Trapper | Furr
Cloud Cult | Feel Good Ghosts (Tea-Partying Through Tornadoes)
Eagles of Death Metal | Heart On
Murs | Murs For President
MGMT | Oracular Spectacular
Delta Spirit | Ode To Sunshine
Gnarls Barkley | The Odd Couple
Kings Of Leon | Only By The Night
Black Kids | Partie Traumatic
Someone Still Loves You Boris Yeltsin | Pershing
Mates Of State | Re-Arrange Us
The Roots | Rising Down
Cecil Otter | Rebel Yellow
The Hold Steady | Stay Positive
Vampire Weekend | Vampire Weekend
The Ting Tings | We Started Nothing
Ben Folds | Way To Normal

11.04.2008

Beautiful

There are many people with more eloquent takes on tonight that frame this election in some very poignant and trancendental parameters.  I'll only make two points.

First, on an international level, I think this has to be viewed as a breath of fresh air by all countries around the world.  Not only are they happy on a policy level, which is a given, but I think that on a human level they are feeling the same assurance that we felt while watching the rallies in Lebanon, and the Ukraine, among others.  The movement in Grant Park to celebrate the election of Barack Obama feels as important to the development and direction of our democracy as the rallies that have created democracies around the world.  I can only hope that the planet looks at our decision with the same amount of hope that I have looked on the other great democratic revolutions of our time and works with us to make the earth a better planet for our collaboration. 

Second, with Joe Biden as the VP, his senate seat is vacated.  The governor of Delaware will now have to appoint a senator.  My question is, what if he picks Beau Biden, the Delaware Attorney General and a Captain in the JAG corps serving in Iraq?  Does he come back from Iraq or is he disqualified from appointment by his active military status?  Something to look in to...

10.19.2008

New For Your Eyes and Ears. Your Tongue Will Have to be Patient.

On the right side I've added a link to another blog out there called Minneapolisfuckingrocks (MFR). It's a quality site that keeps tabs on the local scene while putting in two cents on what's going on nationally. Check it out!

Also, Friday found me at the Triple Rock for the first live performance from Man is Doomed, the side project of Glorious Monster's Brian and Danny. It was a great show - funky and funny, drawing on all of the great pop, disco and rock influences without being pretentious or overdone. I would recommend that everyone check out their MySpace page and if you're in the area come to their next show on November 8th.

Finally, I've been enjoying The Current's Song of the Day podcast for a long time. Even though only about 20-25% of the songs fit my tastes it is totally worth it every week or so when I weed through the pile-up that I've neglected and find one or two really great bands. The Song of the Day has introduced me to such great bands as Blitzen Trapper, Michael Franti & Spearhead, Mates of State and The Saturday Knights. It's especially helpful if you're out of town and want to keep up with what's happening around here as so many SOD's are from featured local artists like Jenny Dalton, Mason Jennings and the Doomtree crew.

10.12.2008

Persistence...

When I went to vote in the Primary, the lines were HUGE.  Jamie and I stood in line for an hour with our dog in the cold, waiting to vote for Barack Obama.

In the Primary.

There are stories across the country of longer lines and in better weather, and this is why I think Obama will win.  There will be an insane amount of people who have never voted before that will come out and vote in November.  Just like the primary, people in your neighborhood that you would never have expected to be there and maybe have never even seen will be at your polling place.  In the meantime, listen to my sister Maria's Governor Ed Rendell tell his people that you need to get out there and get your lazy ass neighbors to the voting booths and make this country a better place.

"It's on each and every one of you to bring your friends, your relatives, your co-workers, people on the block, everybody has to vote," Rendell said. "I don't care how long the lines are. Nobody leaves."

No matter where you live, bring that philosophy to your neighborhood and get people out to vote.  Drag them.  Voter registration is through the roof this year but that won't matter if people stay at home.

On a side note, that article makes Philly sound like some fucking 3rd world country when it comes to "street money."

East Coast, boyeeee!

Worse...

Holy crap, I feel like I live in Georgia. Or at least Missouri. There have been a few posts regarding the rally in my last post but the Star Tribune has at least an on paper account of her state of mind and what I'm sure is at least a secondary education...

Turns out as I click the links that TPM made the same link I did. On Halloween this woman's house is going to look like an egg farm fell on it and then God decided that this was the ass he needed to wipe. Too bad I'm too lazy to drive to Lakeville...

10.10.2008

People are Scared of the Black Man

Here's a particularly scary piece of video that came across my RSS feed from Talking Points Memo.  Two things strike me: One, the real, palpable fear in the voices of these people as they admit to John McCain that they are afraid of a Barack Obama presidency.  I saw another clip on MSNBC earlier today that I'll look for where a man in Wisconsin almost started to cry while talking about his fear of an Obama administration.  Two, I am stunned that these people in the clip are Minnesotans (the rally was in Lakeville) and I'm embarassed, particularly of the woman in who starts talking around :51.

I can't understand how people can be this afraid and I really have a hard time wrestling with what exactly they are afraid of.  The last administration has left everyone worse off than ever but there is still this fringe element who, despite the fact that they are leading harder lives due to the Republican policies, still cling to beliefs like Obama is an "Arab" to keep their worldview intact.  How much worse could it really get at this point?

It must be true that no matter what people say to their friends and family, when we're this close to the first black president that fear-fed rascism just can't be held back or hidden anymore.

10.03.2008

Scorpion Sez...

I think that the "Get Over Here!" moment was when Joe almost broke into tears talking about the family that he lost BEFORE it was politically expedient... maybe the make or break moment of a very 50/50 debate where Palin was very prepared with talking points and (uncharacteristically) proper name pronunciation of foreign leaders.

Finishing move?

"Ummm..."

9.30.2008

Do the Twins Want This?



John Danks and Fransico Liriano both had rough outings on Friday but one of them will be pitching in the biggest game of their regular seasons.

Well, tonight is the make or break game for the Twins.  If they make the playoffs I like their chances against the Rays but I agree with La Velle and have a hard time picturing them making it that far.  In true Twins fashion I just don't feel like we want it bad enough.

Nick Blackburn should not be pitching this game.  This will be the third game in a row the Sox have trotted out a pitcher on three days rest.  Ozzie wants this pennant and is willing to stake the readiness of his pitching staff on an all in move, and the Twins should be playing to win as well.  John Danks is arguably the Sox' number two pitcher behind Gavin Floyd and bringing him out is absolutely the right move against a Twins team who traditionally has had trouble at US Cellular field.  It's especially a good move considering Blackburn has had a tough time of it against the Sox and a terrible stat line there in Chicago where he's given up 13 runs in 15 innings pitched over 3 starts.

The problem is that starting our (#2?) ace Liriano on three days rest is fairly risky - a gamble with just as many postseason repercussions as Guillen's.  First, there's Liriano's performance on the 26th - 85 pitches over 4.1 innings against a Royals team that smacked him around the park for 6 runs on 11 hits.  So while his arm shouldn't be tired, there's a mental worry there - how well and how quickly can he bounce back?  There is some comfort in that argument, however.  While Liriano was getting pounded by the Royals Danks was getting stomped by the Indians to the tune of 7 runs in 4.0 innings over 80 pitches.  If anything, Liriano's potential shakiness could be rivalled only by Danks.'  I think the real issue is the health of Liriano's arm and a worry on the Twins' side that short rest is going to do some damage to a great second-half recovery story.  I can't think of much else besides that as a reason for why we can't put all our chips in and let Liriano take us to the bank.  It can't be because we're afraid of the Rays.

Tampa has limped in to the postseason dropping 3 of 4 in Detroit.  They are a team that we've split the season series with.  Their ace, Scott Kazmir has struggled with his control and hasn't pitched more than six innings in a game since July 21st.  This is already a team that's tired, inexperienced and frankly, one that either the Twins or Sox could handle considering the veteran talent on both teams (extremely veteran in the case of the White Sox).

I understand that to even be this close to the postseason is far and above any expectation anyone had for this team after we traded Santana but now that we're here, why not take advantage of this thing and run with it?

9.29.2008

No!

A rain delay on the last, most important game of the Twins' season?  Not a good sign!

9.17.2008

When Does the Wolves' Season Start?

Because I can't do this.  Gus Frerotte?  After two losses?  Look, I think Tavaris Jackson sucks too, but isn't this too drastic?  Garrard , Schaub, Delhomme and Palmer have similar numbers, sometimes even worse, way worse (I'm looking at you Carson, you son of a bitch.  Throw to Housh once in a fucking while), but they still have their jobs.  Garrard's been sacked 6 more times and has two more interceptions and somehow Jacksonville is still a contender... So Jackson can't turn a bunch of 5 yard outs and screens to the fullback into a victory and now we're stuck with this guy?

Is Jackson really the guy to get rid of here?  There must be some serious pressure from Zygi because he cut some pretty big checks in the off-season and this start is just horse shit.  Chilly has to be feeling it.  His kick-ass offense is kicking every Vikings fan in the nuts and he expects us to believe that Gus Frerotte is the answer?!  T Jack isn't the reason we lost to the Colts - the fucking predictible playcalling in the redzone was!  Dan Dierdorf, you half-retarded lump, we weren't booing T Jack, we were booing Childress.  You don't rape the Colts as thoroughly as we did and then walk into the tunnel with only 15 goddamn points!  I saw this loss coming as soon as Logwell lined up for field goal number 5.

Here's what Zygi has to see and what should cost Childress his job: even if we make a miracle run to an 10-6 record (we'd have to beat either Jacksonville, Tennessee, New Orleans or the Pack), we have no franchise quarterback.  Jackson is not the guy apparently.  Chilly's big 2nd round trade-up gamble didn't pay off and now Gus is in for the season.  We'll have another mid-round pick and we'll have to choose between sticking with Gus, developing J Booty, signing a free agent that can make us a contender or draft someone who can play right away.

The QB free agents out there are shitty.  Grossman.  Garcia.  Boller.  Losman.  Barf.  Somehow, none of these guys are upgrades over this:

Our other choice is to develop Booty, who I would buy a jersey of in a second but I don't think is ready to lead an NFL team, especially one run by Brad Childress.  Zygi didn't crack the checkbook this year to 'develop' anyone, either.  He shouldn't have the patience for that tired line from Chilly again.  So even though I'll watch and cringe and suffer through lots of this:

I'll be preparing to see this guy come out of the tunnel next year.  Praise Jesus.

9.05.2008

Bringing Back the Geek


I love video games.  I grew up playing them, from the super old days of Number Crunchers on the old Apple IIes and Jumpman on 5 and 1/4 floppy disks on the old PC.  I always had a computer growing up and I used the hell out of it, especially in 5th grade through high school.  I was there for the Sierra games - Quest for Glory, Kings Quest, Robin Hood and the Lucasarts revolution - X-Wing, Day of the Tentacle, Monkey Island.. I could go on forever.  The problem with these guys is that they don't work on today's computers - the clock speed is too fast and Windows built-in DOS interface can't slow it down.  Luckily, there's DOSBox.  This little app lets me run any old school game I can find in a little DOS window with little to no problems!  I've got Day of the Tentacle already and I'm working on figuring out how to fire up Quest for Glory.  It can be a little complicated but if you're in to old games it's totally worth it!


I've only recently got into torrents - I didn't get it at first and never had the time to research, but now that I'm caught up it's pretty easy.  Through some torrent searching I've found my all-time favorite old-school PC game all fixed up for use on today's faster machines.  X-Com is back, baby!  I have been playing this game constantly since I rediscovered it and will make the switch here in a few days to the sequel - X-Com II, Terror from the Deep.  If you can get our there and find it, this game has everything a turned based-strategy needs, whether you prefer micro-managing or combat.  Dork out on this, I dare you.

7.19.2008

Welcome to 2006, My Friends

Hey, look over there on the right. My friends Worm and Pat at Amazing Schlock started a blog last month which will give them something else to do besides delay putting "Sledgehammers at Dawn" out. Ha! Too inside...? You should check it out - they're big time movie writers and skit-makers that have had stuff on Funnyordie.com for a while. They also redid their website to make it a little more businessey and to showcase the work that people who could potentially give them money would care about. I do miss reading the bios of my high school friends, though.

Go over there, check out their genius and give them props. Like, hella props.

7.16.2008

Who Needs Sleep When You've Got Baseball?




Last night's MLB All Star Game was one of the greatest baseball games I've ever seen. Holy crap, it was long, but after about the 5th inning it was pretty freaking exciting. I've watched MLB All Star games since the time of Kirby Puckett - I love watching the players, sure, but I mostly love watching how our small-market Twins (3-5) fit in with the likes of the rat-bastard Yankees (1-5).

Joe Mauer reaching down to unbuckle his ankle guard while the ump called a questionable strike two, getting back into his stance and immediately reaching down again and walking to first after another close pitch was classic. He was making the calls, dammit. I also like how Joe Mauer wasn't afraid to take a walk in the All Star game. It's like softball - all the big hitters would rather pop out to the shortstop than just take a walk and help the team.

The suspense was great, the multiple bases-loaded, end-game scenarios were exciting, and Dan Uggla's incompetence was embarrassing. These things I think will be said and said again. I don't think anyone will mention, however, that the guys that won and lost the game are not at all stars. Sure, they were on the team, but seriously. Dave already blogged about the disrespect the media gave our favorite Canadian home-run champ, but think about all of the other players out there and how little of a narrative there was for them.

Anyone staying up for the full game got to see five at-bats for Morneau, who hit twice, was walked once and incidentally scored the winning run. They got to see Russell Martin throw some serious heat to catch a speedy Kinsler stealing (another name that's been lost in the Josh Hamilton-mania, by the way). Clint Hurdle probably made a mistake putting Guzman in for Ramirez after only one at bat but Guzman got to show off his glove at 3rd base for the rest of the game. I was happy to see all of these players from small-market or less-covered teams get the national spotlight for such a huge chunk of the game.

By the end of the game, however, I wanted Joe Buck to go to bed. His complete hackery was apparent as he had absolutely nothing to say for any player out there after the front-liners besides "he's the second-to-last pitcher in the bullpen." Look at your goddamn media guide, dude. If Bert Blyleven can fill entire innings of Twins/Royals baseball by talking about some of the REAL no-names in the league, surely Joe can come up with something the say about Evan Longoria besides "he's a rookie." Jesus.

7.11.2008

The Brewers Are Fucking Dicks

I count the Brewers as my second favorite team, behind of course the Twins. I was happy to see Corey Hart and his sunglasses that he wears at night get voted as the last fan-chosen addition to the All-Star team because he plays ball with a combination of power and speed that is really exciting.

But holy shit, the rest of the Brewers can fuck off.

He's up there at the post-game press conference with his cute little daughter, enjoying the moment, and then WOOSH, here comes the panic. Not only does this pack of mongoloids pour beer on a three year old girl but the douche-train plows the tables right in to her.

God, if Rickie Weeks and Bill Hall were as good at hitting for average as they are scaring children I would be ok with just handing the pennant to Ned Yost and saying "You know what? Let's just take the rest of the summer off and go to Lake Geneva." If I were Corey Hart I would celebrate by punching every one of those guys in the fucking nuts and dousing their wives and children with rubbing alcohol while laughing and lighting a fat cigar with a blowtorch.

So good job, Corey. Tell your teammates to eat a dick real fast.


6.11.2008

Why It's Important To Be Nice To Government Workers

I work downtown. Unfortunately, part of working downtown is paying the meters. I usually park in a ramp but if I have to run errands during the day that just doesn't make sense, so sometimes I meter it. And I always lose track of time. So I get tickets.

Every time Jamie rides in my car she reminds me to pay those tickets but I never seem to have that at the top of my priority list.

At work today, leaning against the bar, I look out the window and see the little meter maid truck pull up behind my car. So I ran out and tried to see if he could maybe not write me a ticket and here, look, I have quarters. No, he said, very nicely, sorry. And by the way, I have to tow your car, you have too many unpaid tickets (six is the limit I guess).

Oh no! Well, he was very nice and apologetic about it and I have a hard time being mean to people who aren't mean to me, so I just had a little problem solving session with him to see if we could avoid a towing. In the end, no. No options. So I grabbed some stuff out of the car and went inside.

Some of the stuff I grabbed were the tickets, just in case I needed them. And I'm looking at the tickets and I remember - you can pay these on line! So I ran downstairs, paid my five parking tickets online, printed off the receipts and ran back upstairs to the guy waiting in his Geo Metro or whatever the government gives these poor bastards.

Here! Look! I just paid! Can you call off the tow truck? No, he said, but how about you just drive away and we'll call it even. So I ran back down into the dungeon of the bar and frantically tried to remember where I'd put my keys FIVE MINUTES AGO and after what seemed like forever but was probably 30 seconds I ran back out and there was the tow truck, just backing up with it's bed starting to go down.

I ran across the street, through traffic, dodging cars, yelling thank you at the meter maid guy and dove into the passenger side of my car, jumped in the drivers seat and peaced the fuck out of there.

I'm lucky I'm such a nice guy because if I cussed that dude out there's no WAY I'd be at home blogging right now but I would be stuck in the courthouse all day tomorrow and then have to deal with the beautiful people at the city impound lot and pay their garbage fees plus an overnight charge.

The moral of the story is, you were right Jamie and I should have paid those tickets a long time ago.

5.31.2008

Jeremy BanthamwhAT THEF**KISGOINGON!

My mind is melting.

The season finale blows open everyone's theories about Lost and, guess what? validates some of mine. Here we go...

1) Please refer to my earlier post. I was half right. Starts with J and ends in -antham. I said we hadn't met him yet and I guess we could have never expected an alias. I was wrong about the character of the person in the coffin. Really, the only thing I was right about was that it wasn't Micheal.

2) Jack is a wreck. I was right about needing to get back to the island.

Let's look at my Hail Mary predictions...

1) Life sucks for MOST people off the island. Kate feels it's best for Aaron but everyone else is not cool with it.
2) Only Sun is back but she is definitely using her dad's company and his connections with Widmore (which were never shown but somehow I inferred) to find Jin and the rest of the survivors.
3) Dead on. Penny found Desmond thanks to his time-traveling call and her subsequent search for him using her father's boat. Word.

So we've learned that immediate predictions are stupid to make and the only way to get a handle on Lost is some long-term thinking. Which I rule at!

5.12.2008

Everyone is Lost. Especially Me.

To sum up:

So now Ben controls the smoke monster, the island has been both behind and ahead of "real world" (boat) time, Jack and Claire's dad is alive (or at least in the picture... called it!), and the island can be moved. Also, Mittelos Bioscience is definitely an Others front and apparently has been for at least 50 years. Richard clearly doesn't age.

BOLD PREDICTION:

Jacob is Jack's dad, Christian. Check these screen caps and tell me they don't jive with a script that calls for someone of Christian's description without actually using the actor and blowing the secret early.

Some questions:

What is the significance of the pebbles, the compass and the knife that young Locke chose?

If most of The Others were chosen to be on the island, are most of the main survivors also chosen to be there? Jack's father faked his death, Locke went on walkabout as suggested by the tall dude that Hurley is afraid of in the mental hospital... there must be other connections...

5.07.2008

PUSA

Last night Jamie and I went to see The Presidents of the United States of America. I know! Yes, they're still together. This was a show I should have gone to 12 years ago! It was great. They played all the hits and their new stuff was just as fun to rock out to as their old stuff. Every song they play makes you smile and jump around. I didn't get the new album there but I should have. Check out the website and rock out to some videos. And go see them live if you can - this band is still supernova!

5.04.2008

Hahaha You Suck Yankees

Thank you, Brian Cashman, for turning down a ridiculous trade for Santana back in the Spring that would have ensured your dominance over the American League for years. Thank you so much for holding on to your prized "prospects" Phil Hughes (0-4, 9.00 ERA) and Ian Kennedy (0-2, 8.37 ERA). I sure hope that you are confident in your decision to hang on to this young "talent" and were planning all along to have one demoted to AAA by May 3rd (Kennedy) and one out until AT LEAST the All-Star break with a broken rib. I hope your new-found dedication to youth in your organization makes you feel like you're really competing with the Red Sox or even the Rays on that front.




See, Cash, the difference between your club and the Twins, Sox,or Rays, is that just
having young talent isn't enough. You have to actually develop them. The Yankees haven't developed a player since Jeter and Posada, so I'm sure you've just forgotten how. Meanwhile, the Twins will take a kid who is a terrible first strike swinger, who has raw outfield instincts and who is tied for the MLB lead in steals and turn him in to something a lot like this.

UPDATE: Just wanted to mention that the day after I wrote this Gomez hit for the cycle. Just sayin. Oh, and yesterday I heard PA and Dubay talking about this exact thing with Cashman. I'll get a link to their segment but basically they must have read my post. Just goes to show that unless you play for the Vikes or the Wild those guys won't pay attention to you until they need to fill some time on a Wednesday morning.

2.28.2008

Lost: My Brain is Going to Explode

OK. I never posted a follow up to the Lost season premier a few weeks ago, mostly because I'm busy, but also because I've been trying to formulate a counter-point to my friend Dave's theory that the secret of the island involves a parallel Earth.

Basically, I thought that it's the electromagnetic properties that make the island special. Everything going on is tied to the island's extraordinary physical properties. From super fast healing to an inability of people to find it or leave it, to the primary reason of the Dharma Initiative - they're all tied to the island's off-the-charts activity.

Tonight's episode seemed to be a convergence of our two theories with quantum physics as the link. While I'm still not convinced that the island exists on a totally different planet or plane I think that our two theories moved one step towards each other during Desmond's adventure. It seems to me that the properties of the island are so powerful that they can really mess you up on a quantum level if you don't use the right channels to come and go - it's worse to just get the bearing wrong a little and be able to get off the island than it is to sail or fly aimlessly around and never be able to escape the magnetic effects on instruments. People's consciousnesses bounce back and forth between spaces in time like quantum particles and would probably do so indefinitely if the human brain could handle the strain. The quantum explanation is solidified by Faraday, the physicist, being the go to guy to solve Desmond's problem.

I have some more general predictions regarding some things we've seen.

1. Dharma has set up other facilities around the world to try and harness this type of phenomenon in the past. This is what I think they were showing with the polar bear fossil in the desert.

2. The Others are a counter-foundation/conglomerate dedicated to the preservation of these spots. Remember that Hanso, Paik and Widmore formed Dharma. Just who formed the group that Ben works for is unclear but the conflict between the two that exists below the public consciousness is clear from Sayid's episode last week. A good place to start is to figure out exactly who Richard, the guy that recruited Ben as a child, is and look out for his company, Mittelos Bioscience (the company that recruited Juliet).

I'll think of more I'm sure - we're watching tons of old episodes to pick up stuff we missed. Whatever happens, however the season turns out, we're going to be fucking blown away and no one will have seen it coming.

UPDATE: I must be totally addled - Dave is right. Widmore and Paik so far have nothing to do (that we know of) with Dharma. I have no idea what episode I thought I saw that in. If I could do one of those strikethroughs I would, but I don't know how. Crap.

DOUBLE UPDATE: In your face, Dave! Did you see last night's episode? Widmore! Boo-ya!

1.31.2008

The Moment of Truth

Last year I posted a little recap and some predictions about the next season of Lost. Finally, in 20 minutes, we'll see how accurate I was. Tomorrow I'll post a recap of the first episode of the fourth season and some adjusted predictions and we'll agree that yes, I am the coolest person you know.

1.15.2008

Morales Takes Manhattan


I haven't posted about our New York City trip yet! Crap! This post was half done in my drafts box until I noticed it today. Finally, you get the stunning epic that you deserve.

Jamie and I went to NYC in December, right before Christmas and right after I took over at Harvey's. We stayed in the Flatotel, mostly because it was an awesome deal on Orbitz, it was in Midtown, which I liked, and Jamie saw it on America's Next Top Model. It was nice.

We did a lot of walking around, looking like tourists, gawking at all of the buildings and all of the famous crap we saw. The first day we hit Midtown and Times Square, only a couple of blocks from the hotel. It was, of course, crazy busy. The highlight was seeing Flavor Flav running around in the street like an idiot after his limo. I could have seriously mistook him for a crack head except for his giant clock swinging around his little neck. So that was awesome. The first day we took it easy, went to the Museum of Natural History and just kicked around Central Park a Little. The first night Maria and her boyfriend Joel took the train out from Philly and took us to dinner. I seriously have already forgotten what the place was called but it was really nice of them to pay for it. Sarafina. That's what it was. Moving on...

On the second day we decided to explore a little bit and swung over to Park Ave, stopped at Rockefeller Center and checked out the huge tree. At Park Avenue we saw a movie being filmed, hung out for a while, and ended up seeing Joaquin Phoenix. We stopped to window shop like a block away from the set and he must have followed us or something because he was right next to Jamie when we stopped. He's really really short. Then we swung down to Chelsea, the Village and SoHo and did some serious hardcore shopping. The coolest store ever is Brooklyn Industries. We spent a ton of money on ourselves and then took a hardcore nap. Friday night we met up with Mike Sacks, a fellow former living Field Secretary and he showed us a few bars and his tiny-ass apartment. We also saw these dudes who were McLovin clones at the last bar we were at. It was sad.

Saturday we hit Central Park and checked out their little-ass zoo. We also checked out the Apple store that's underground - the storefront was a big clear cube with the Apple logo on it. Like the future! We took it easy because the night would be a long one. Saturday was our big date night. For cocktails we hit One If By Land in the Village - a restaurant in Aaron Burr's old carriage house. The place was decked out like it was Fezziwig's or something, lots of garlands and lights everywhere. For dinner we hit Gotham, which was as good as expected. After dinner cocktails brought us to The KGB Bar, a super cool little place covered in old propaganda and portraits of the great minds of communism. This also happened to be where the Santa bar crawl was for the moment, which was great because I was wearing my red suede jacket. Afterwards we went to a comedy show at the Comic Strip, where Seinfeld is always performing in the intro to the show. Super funny, but the highlight was Rich Voss just destroying this drunk bitch in the front row who wouldn't shut up. It was classic. By 3:00 we were back at The Perfect Pint, our favorite Times Square Bar, singing Mariah Carey Christmas carols and pounding more beer. Ill-advised indeed. By 4:30 we were passed out with our street vendor gyros still in hand.

Sunday before flying back we hit downtown, saw Ground Zero, struggled to not punch the people who were selling pictures of the site to tourists and headed to Wall Street. We checked out Trinity Church and found the lost treasure of the Templars in the basement and then jumped on a plane and headed home. The End.






Not quite...

I was recently cool enough to be in two fantasy football final games at the same time. Confidently, I predicted a victory in my free league and a loss in my money league, mostly due to my wicked awesome lineup vs. my crappy waiver wire lineup.

Since I was already guaranteed $300 I figured what the hell, I'll play my gut and start Maroney and Barber for some U of M fantasy action. If I was gonna go down in flames against Romo and Westbrook I'd at least represent MPLS while I did it. Well, Barber ran for 110 and a touch, Maroney decided to show up for the last game of the season and ran for 156 and a touch, and Silky Garrard, who I really think I might be keeping, threw for two scores and ran one in. Braylon caught two and suddenly my mediocre team is looking pretty powerful. I won, 127 to 112. $600 bucks is a great Christmas present! How much did you make, chump?

Unfortunately, my outside shot at winning the right to come to your house and kick you in the nuts and take your dog because I'm so awesome didn't pan out. I lost in the finals of my ESPN league and took second. So I'm cool, but not 100% wicked bad ass. I'll take it.