Not quite...

I was recently cool enough to be in two fantasy football final games at the same time. Confidently, I predicted a victory in my free league and a loss in my money league, mostly due to my wicked awesome lineup vs. my crappy waiver wire lineup.

Since I was already guaranteed $300 I figured what the hell, I'll play my gut and start Maroney and Barber for some U of M fantasy action. If I was gonna go down in flames against Romo and Westbrook I'd at least represent MPLS while I did it. Well, Barber ran for 110 and a touch, Maroney decided to show up for the last game of the season and ran for 156 and a touch, and Silky Garrard, who I really think I might be keeping, threw for two scores and ran one in. Braylon caught two and suddenly my mediocre team is looking pretty powerful. I won, 127 to 112. $600 bucks is a great Christmas present! How much did you make, chump?

Unfortunately, my outside shot at winning the right to come to your house and kick you in the nuts and take your dog because I'm so awesome didn't pan out. I lost in the finals of my ESPN league and took second. So I'm cool, but not 100% wicked bad ass. I'll take it.

My Ultimate Fantasy

In an amazing show of sports genius I have managed to make the finals in BOTH of my fantasy football leagues. I squeaked one out against the low seed in a weird two game playoff (I know! F'ed up!) thanks to the amazing play of the Bucs defense and my wide receiver corps of Colston and Andre Johnson. In my money league I was the only person in the country that didn't benefit from Brady and Romo's craphole week - I whupped a powerhouse team including Sage Rosenfels and Roddy White with my own waiver wire juggernaut consisting of Davey Garrard and Aaron Stecker.

Not only am I guaranteed $300 but Ron Jaworski just called and asked me for some expert analysis. That's right bitches. I'm so confident, here's my lineup next week for each league for a Double Championship, Come-To-Your-Door-And-Give-A-Personal Asskicking:

ESPN (Free League):
QB: P. Manning
RB1: Jacobs
RB2: Barber
RB/WR: LenDale White
WR1: Andre Johnson
WR2: Colston
TE: Cooley
K: Bironas
DST: Buccaneers

CBS ($600 champion, $300 2nd place)
QB: Garrard
RB1: Barber
RB2: Stecker
WR1: Braylon Edwards
WR2: Gonzalez
TE: Gates
K: Dawson
DST: Chargers

I have a good shot with my ESPN and an outside shot at my CBS league. I will update you as I continue to dominate.