My Ultimate Fantasy

In an amazing show of sports genius I have managed to make the finals in BOTH of my fantasy football leagues. I squeaked one out against the low seed in a weird two game playoff (I know! F'ed up!) thanks to the amazing play of the Bucs defense and my wide receiver corps of Colston and Andre Johnson. In my money league I was the only person in the country that didn't benefit from Brady and Romo's craphole week - I whupped a powerhouse team including Sage Rosenfels and Roddy White with my own waiver wire juggernaut consisting of Davey Garrard and Aaron Stecker.

Not only am I guaranteed $300 but Ron Jaworski just called and asked me for some expert analysis. That's right bitches. I'm so confident, here's my lineup next week for each league for a Double Championship, Come-To-Your-Door-And-Give-A-Personal Asskicking:

ESPN (Free League):
QB: P. Manning
RB1: Jacobs
RB2: Barber
RB/WR: LenDale White
WR1: Andre Johnson
WR2: Colston
TE: Cooley
K: Bironas
DST: Buccaneers

CBS ($600 champion, $300 2nd place)
QB: Garrard
RB1: Barber
RB2: Stecker
WR1: Braylon Edwards
WR2: Gonzalez
TE: Gates
K: Dawson
DST: Chargers

I have a good shot with my ESPN and an outside shot at my CBS league. I will update you as I continue to dominate.

Tim Tebow Thanks You

"Thank you. Thanks. Thank you. Thank Jesus. Thank you. Thanks..."

"Holy shit Tim, you just won the Heisman Trophy! Nobody told me I'd actually win this thing! What should I say?! Ok, stay calm, get up, shake hands with your new friends. Playing XBox was fun, we should to that more.

"Chase, hi, thanks. Thank you very mu - ok, yeah, let's hug. Mmm. Thanks. Did we just almost kiss? I'll have to talk to my pastor about that. Ok, Colt next. Thanks Colt, thank you so much. Shoot, which eye do I look in? I never know... oh crap, I almost forgot D.Mc. Darren, thanks. Thanks. I gotta go on stage. Jeepers, I hope Darren doesn't think I hugged him last because he's black. Crap.

"Ok, to the podium, shake hands, thank you, thank you. Wow. Ok. Whoo.

"Umm. Oh man. I'm blanking. Shucks. Umm...

"uhh... *wimper*"

"Crap! Terrible opening line! Try again.

"eehhh..."

"Double crap! Breathe! Heavier! Don't cry! That's better. Ok, make it seem like you had a speech ready... start easy, thank Jesus. Yes! And Mom and Dad! Yes! Who else? How long have I been talking? Three seconds?! Balls! Thank everyone you can think of! High school coach what's his name, the kid that helps me in calculus, that girl with the huge boobs I met that one day.

"Now how long have I been talking? That's it? Shit! Sorry Jesus. I mean, thank you Jesus. Again. Savior. Thank you.

"Haha, good, they're laughing! Jesus is always good for a smile. Ok, wrap it up. Umm, thanks again. Perfect! Whew. That was easy."

Blogsplosion #1 - Yeah, it's about time

Can you believe that this spurned my blogsplosion? I saw an ad for toothbrushes from Oral B and I swear that the tag was "Isn't it time you got Oral?" Jesus, that's great!

Blogsplosion!!

It's been a LONG time since I've posted regularly. Get ready for the craziest few days of blog reading in your life!

Oh So Close to Perfect...

The family and I went to the Twins game last night. Even though they're pretty much done it's nice to hang with the parents and catch some baseball. It was a good time - eating corn outside, drinking some beers, making fun of Mike Redmond's "wide stance." Good times. It wasn't until about the 7th inning, after the Twins already had a comfortable lead, that I looked up at the scoreboard and realized that Scott Baker had a no-hitter going. To be honest, we were playing the Royals, so I wasn't really paying attention when they were up to bat.

I was excited that I would be witnessing a no-hitter here! I thought about the game a little and turned to the fans next to me. "Has he even walked anyone yet?" Nope. Scott Baker had a perfect game going into the seventh inning.

Well, me and the rest of the 15,000 people in attendance seemed to liven up a little and suddenly the 7th was over. Then in the eighth Scotty looked great. He wasn't even up to 100 pitches yet and he was still striking people out. This perfect game from a pitcher who last year was sent up and down, bouncing between AAA and the Twins was really happening.

The ninth started and everyone was into it. From our seats to the left and above home plate we had a tough time seeing the strike zone well, so I couldn't get too upset when Baker walked the lead-off batter in the ninth on some questionable balls. Perfect game shattered. Next the Royals pinch-hit Mike Sweeney for Tony Pena Jr. just to be dicks. Sweeney looped a single over 2nd base. No-hitter destroyed. All in the ninth. Crap.

Baker rallied and finished the game with a shut-out intact, but it'll be a while before I forget about the time I almost saw a Twins pitcher not named Johann go lights out and pitch a perfect game.

Complete Nonsense

But still funny.







Any explanation would be great.

Greatest. Show. Ever.

The Forecast rocking out

I warned you. You knew it was coming.

Jamie and I went to see Motion City Soundtrack tonight at the Varsity Theater in Dinkytown, Mpls.

Fuckin. A.

Like I mentioned in my last post, we missed The Forecast when we drove to Milwaukee last week. We did not miss these cats this time. They rocked so hard. The Forecast has a great sound thanks to their boy-girl duet thing that they have going on. I strongly urge everyone to check them out.

After The Forecast (yay) and before The Higher (boo) we were hanging out at the bar and I ran into Matt again (the bass player in the picture from Milwaukee). I just asked if their set would be pretty much the same and he said yeah, more or less, but hey, is there something I wanted to hear? Yes, I said. Red Dress. An excellent song.

Well, The Higher played and sucked like in Milwaukee but this time we had to hear the whole set. Bluh.

When Motion City hit the stage the crowd went nuts. Jamie and I managed to get right up to the front, like second people back. You could tell that these guys love playing in front of the hometown crowd. Their show was so high energy and so tight. They were playing everything as hard as ever - Justin broke three or four guitar strings, Jesse had an issue with his keyboard... these guys were going all out.

The set was pretty similar with a few notable differences. First, they replaced Mary Without Sound with a Tegan and Sara cover, You Wouldn't Like Me. The song is perfectly suited for MCS's style and they pulled it off perfectly. Second, their song This Is For Real was much, much better this time around. I don't know why I had such a bad impression of it the first time I'd heard it but I'm a believer now. Finally, their encore was two songs long. They played Perfect Teeth like last week but at the end they added...

...wait for it...

...Red Dress. They actually played my request! How great is that?

After the show Jamie and I were what we decided was 'wastesausted.' We lied on the cement floor in the corner and cooled off with a Premium and a bottle of water and when the crowd thinned we hit the lobby. The Forecast was sitting there so we sat down and shot the shit with Shannon a little bit and eavesdropped on one of the douche bags from The Higher try and pick up some 14 year old girls. I went around and collected autographs on my ticket stub and we went outside.

I'll admit, we kind of stalked MCS and followed them to the Dinkytowner. Jamie and I went back and played pool, had some pitchers of beer and we ended up sitting down with Matt from MCS and talking about their tour, his hometown of Richmond, their future plans and how annoying The Higher were. It was really nice of him to spend so much time with us considering they just finished an intense show at the end of a long tour. We told him we'd plan on seeing them in November at the Myth and got out of their hair.

All in all, we are so grateful for such a fun night and a great week. Thanks to The Forecast and Sherwood for good shows, but mostly thanks go out to Matt and Motion City Soundtrack for being so cool and open to hanging out with a couple of big fans and for rocking so hard.